Jan
2013
Next Chapter
I like to think of myself as a happy, optimistic person. I always try to be uplifting and find the positive in situations. But this morning I am struggling to do that.
To catch you up to speed real fast I will share my story. Some may know that I am a sign language interpreter. We have a national organization that offers a certification test. I took the test in August 2010 and found out 6 weeks later I passed and was a certified interpreter. I was thrilled!
Fast forward to June 2011 when I got a letter in the mail stating that someone at the national office felt they were qualified enough to evaluate exams (there was a back log with tests) and it affected 34 tests results. Can you guess who was one of the “lucky” 34.
I was offered a free retake with all travel expenses paid, rightfully so. I had a year to take the test and would keep my certification until so. I decided to give myself enough time to prepare and wanted to wait until the winter of 2012 to test again.
In that time frame the national organization decided to release a new ‘enhanced’ test. This time they would not release a rubric (the guideline of what specific critera they are looking for) I found it odd and frustrating. It made it difficult to know how to prepare myself for the test. I signed up to test in April 2012.
I prepared the best I could and felt OK after the test. I waited over 100 days to find out I failed. I was bummed but was offered one more free shot. I prepared even more this time, even taking an 8 week workshop!
I tested in December and felt so confident after I was done with the test. I felt good and knew I did the best that I could have done.
Yesterday, I received an email (while I was at the gym) with my results. I hopped off the rowing machine, said a small prayer, and opened the email. I was devastated to read the word fail.
I quickly grabbed my bag and rushed out to my car before the tears came. Once I shut the car I lost it. I drove home through the blurry tears. As soon as I pulled in the driveway Andy pulled in right there after me. I cried in his arms. He listened to me as I told him how upset/angry/sad/confused I was. I wanted this so bad. I gave it my all, and that’s the best I could have done.
That’s where I am at now. In good news, I still have a job. This test doesn’t matter in the educational interpreting world (in my state), but I am limited on what other jobs I can do (the ones I love). I have decided not to test again. These past few years have been tough and I don’t want to go through all the emotions again.
Andy asked me a good question yesterday, what are you passionate about? He brought up a good point, I’m not as passionate about sign language anymore as I am about other things in my life.
Time to figure out the next chapter in my life….
This was an extremely long and personal post, if you read it all the way through-thank you.
Jaime
January 30, 2013 at 4:00 pm (140 days ago)Hugs Allie. I’ve “known” you for years now and I know you are an amazing and positive person and you’ll be an asset to anything you put your mind and heart into doing. <3
Jena
January 30, 2013 at 4:43 pm (140 days ago)Becky
January 30, 2013 at 5:58 pm (140 days ago)I am so sorry you are going through this. I had to take exams for my job a few years ago and no matter how hard I studied, I couldn’t pass one of them. It was devastating. I never failed at tests. It was hard to keep going and finally I did pass (and got my designation), but it wasn’t something I was excited about in the end. I hope you find a peace of mind knowing that you did your absolute best. I am sure you are still an amazing interpreter no matter what the national org. says.
jess
January 31, 2013 at 2:22 am (139 days ago)this is my first visit to you and i love your blog! thank you for sharing such a personal post and i of course wish that it had been a better result…i have been thinking about direction and my next chapter and i definitely had a moment last week where i realized my passions were changing, not that i dont love my old passions but that they are just shifting some and your post reminded me that its ok to rewrite and shift passions sometimes
Stace
January 31, 2013 at 2:35 am (139 days ago)I am excited for you! This reminds me of those stories on Oprah where people thought it was the end of something, when really, it was just the beginning
XOXO!
meghan
January 31, 2013 at 2:52 am (139 days ago)I am so sorry Allie. That’s horrible that you went through it all, and i’m so sorry to hear what your news was this time. I would also agree with Stace though. Maybe this is your window being opened to do something completely huge and really exciting! I know it’s hard to think of now, but you’ll see it someday!
Kristin W
February 1, 2013 at 3:09 am (138 days ago)How frustrating
Definitely a sign to take the next step in your life/career. Good luck with figuring out where that path leads you!
Cassie
February 12, 2013 at 2:23 am (127 days ago)You’ve always said you feel like everything happens for a reason. And I know you are persistent and want to reach this goal, so it’s not easy to walk away and admit “defeat;” but maybe this is the only way God is going to get you where he wants you. You have so many talents and are incredibly dedicated in all that you do. There are good things in store for you.